First and foremost, how are you feeling in general, after recovering from your journey?
GREAT! The delivery was slightly more difficult than my own children but that was due to the fact that it was twins.
What made you decide to pursue surrogacy in the first place?
Throughout my life I have interacted with so many people that couldn’t have children that I knew would be wonderful parents. After I had our son I knew that I wanted to help others have the same feeling of being a parent. After our daughter it was all I could think about. After a few years of looking into the process and discussing it with my husband we decided to go ahead with the process.
When you shared the news with them, how did your spouse/significant other, loved ones, friends, coworkers, etc. react?
At first my husband was concerned with my desire to be a surrogate but after much investigation and discussion he understood my desire and we decided to move forward. Our children just loved the idea. The Mother’s Day that I was carrying the twins my son made me a card about how he loved me because of how I was kind to others by helping other people become a family just like we were. Most other people were surprised but grateful that of what I was doing to help someone else out.
What were your expectations before you began the process?
All I knew was that I wanted to help a couple become a family. I was so excited I couldn’t wait to get my call that they had found a match for me. And when that call finally came I couldn’t wait to meet them.
Describe the matching process and how you felt when you first met your IPs in person:
I was so nervous getting ready that morning. I fretted about everything. My biggest concern was that they wouldn’t like me or how we would get along. The ladies at the agency were amazing at helping me calm my nerves by meeting with my husband and I first and giving us an idea of how the meeting would go down. Then the sat with us as they brought the IPs in. Once we got to start talking it was amazing how much we had in common. I could tell that we would be perfect together.
What was the most unexpected part of your journey? Is there anything that surprised you?
TWINS! I had always hoped that one day I would be able to carry twins and when I found out at the first ultrasound that I was carrying twins it was amazing! I was so happy that I could help them get not just 1 but 2 babies!
Describe the pregnancy overall – did it match your previous pregnancy experience(s)? What, if anything, was different (other than the obvious fact you were carrying babies for someone else)?
Other than the tiredness which I am sure came from the twins it really felt the same. I loved being able to record the heartbeats and send the pictures to share how great the boys were doing. Each doctor visit was like Christmas where I could send the IPs more information.
Were there any funny moments during the pregnancy you’d be willing to share?
I was about 32 weeks along at my son’s championship baseball game. It was July and super hot. All of the other parents of my sons team knew I was pregnant but I was never forthcoming with the fact that I was a surrogate unless someone asked or said something about the baby. That day one of the other mothers made a comment about how I probably was so ready for the baby to be born. I explained that they had to wait until their parents arrived in a few weeks and that they were not allowed to come before then. All of the parents were so surprised and excited to find out that I was carrying twins instead of a single and that they were not even my children that they stopped watching the game and started asking me questions. I work with the public so this type of thing happened to me all the time.
How did everything go on delivery day? Please describe the emotions and feelings you experienced when the babies were born and shortly thereafter.
Delivery day went great! The boys waited until their parents had arrived and had settled into their hotel. We even had the weekend where my IPs got to experience my community’s summer picnic and meet some of my family that they had not before. The morning I went into labor I was so excited. My husband drove me to the hospital and our IPs met us there. Labor went smoothly and everyone was just waiting around. Because I was delivering twins I had to deliver in the OR in case a C-section was needed, which luckily we did, as after baby 1 was born we had some issues and baby 2 didn’t want to come the right way. My doctor did a C-section at which time the parents and my husband had to leave the room which was scary but necessary. My epidural didn’t work so I had to be put out but when I woke up I got to see each of the parents with their babies. They were so happy. I just knew that I had done the right thing. It felt so great. A few days later when we were discharged from the hospital we helped them load the boys up. I knew that we had a great relationship.
Please share any advice you would give to potential GCs:
Do it! The process has a lot of waiting. A LOT! But it is totally worth it. Seeing how happy our IPs were and watching them hold the boys made me feel complete. The parents continue to thank me for helping them have their family. To be honest I feel like it is me that is the lucky one. I got to help them become the family they have dreamed of but couldn’t have. The ability to help others dreams come true is the greatest gift I could imagine.